Marriage maintenance

With over 50% of marriages ending in divorce, let that statistic sit for a moment.  Marriage is hard, and most issues can be worked through; However,  it takes two adults who love each other and are committed to making their family whole again.  Many divorces are the result of a lack of communication.  Do not let it get to that point.  If you are struggling on communicating with your partner, you feel like you are not heard, or you feel like giving up you should try therapy.  I recommend couples therapy and then individual therapy so you and your partner can collaborate, talk openly, and strengthen your communication. Therapy can be extremely beneficial as preventive maintenance to your relationship.

Men and women communicate very differently.  Our needs are also very different.  Many things get in the way of a good marriage, children, family, school, and work take a ton of time in all of our lives.  In couples counseling I take an approach of figuring out what the real problem is in the marriage, opening that door of communication, and making each other the top priority.

Many couples argue over money or sex.  Establishing a compromise where both partners agree on a happy medium could be the answer to the entire problem.  If you do not take action in your marriage the problem will fester, and you will grow more resentful.  Many couples can benefit from a neutral 3rd party to hear them, and come up with a solution for the problem.

Do you have common goals in your marriage?  Do you know what your partner needs from you?  Do you know what your partners love language is?  These are things we go over so you can focus on your partners needs and  yours.  It requires taking that step, seeking out help, and coming together for that common goal.

For those couples who have already decided divorce is their only option you may want help in talking to the children.  Their lives will also change and they will feel very uncertain, no matter how “amicably” the divorce may be.  It is important that you understand they will grieve as much as you will.  Learning to live in another house part of the time, changes in friends, “what if” fears,  they may sense your depression and feel the same for you.  Children need an outlet to discuss their fear and their concerns.  Divorce effects more than just the couple.

Reach out for help and talk to a marriage counselor about your options.

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